gladysagain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vabnZ9-ex7o&ob=av2e

I usually hate clichés but right now thats honestly how I feel. Nirvana, can it be more #teenagegirlwhohatesherlife? But I'm not a teenage girl nor a person who hates their life. I'm way past the teenage stage and I have more respect for life than to say that I hate my life. I may not be completly happy with my life right now, but I have my health and so does my family so I see no need to complain. I cant say that I LOVE my life right now but I can outstand it. I've been through much worse and I probally will again, but that's just how life is. You can't control it, you just have to make the best out of  it. Of course you can do certain things to make it better (or worse?) but you still never know what's coming for you.
You can for instance plan the perfect life with the perfect man/woman, but one day that perfect spouse might find another man/woman who they find is more beautiful/smart/funny/sexy/whatever than you. Or he/she might even be a victim of a terrible accident that ends hers/his life.
What do you do then?
You just have to get on with your life as harse as that sounds. I'm not saying that you can forget the love of your life in a heartbeat, but to be honest... Life isnt always a fairytale.

Excuse me for jumping from subject to subject but I just thought of something... I've always known since I was at least 12 years old that I what to have kids early in life and have a couple of them. But now... I still want the same thing but the way I live my life now is the exact opposite of the way I should if I want to have kids soon. I know that I'm not in the right position to have kids now, financially, my living and in a couple of other ways but I still cant stop dreaming... I dream that if I had a baby now that would fix my life and my brain now. I know that would stand over everything else and that I would find my meaning in life. But a child isnt supposed to fix my life. When I become a mother, my role is to be there for my child 100% and not expect a unknowing and innocent baby to clear up my mess.
I dont really know where I'm going with all this I don't even know if I will be able to stand for everything I have written now if someone (I dont know who yet, but still...) would read this in the future. Right now I only have very few reades (who I dont know who they are..?), but this is still the internet so you never know who might read this in a couple of weeks, months, years.

For all you picky readers... I havent spell-checked this text because I honestly couldnt care less about that right now when I just spilled all my guts out like this now, so excause all my miss-spellings.

Good night peeps.